Babies love outdoor so much and for people like me, who have to go a certain distance to see anything pleasant or green, it’s kind of heart breaking to not bring my child freely to bask in the glory of nature.

We still try though. We take him out to the rooftop and lift him high up in the air, hoping the view of buildings and sparse vegetation acts as a suitable alternative. The wind occasionally gives us a cool breeze, ruffling his cute little hair. He loves that.

He is about 5 months now and  is looking at the birds in the sky, not just the ones on the window sil.

We take him out for the least amount of time, given that our neighborhood is closely packed and you can’t help running into neighbors if you stayed out for long.

I had also wanted to buy so many things for my LO. Now, the shops both online and off, sell only essential goods. So though we got him diapers and a feeding bottle, I can’t get him that cute outfit I saw online or that mickey mouse plush toy that’s safer than teddy bears with buttons!

We did manage to get him a Pluto soft toy. It has long arms that can hug him and long ears too that he can chew on. I’ve noticed my LO loves toys that can be manipulated. The toy also has its tongue sticking out which is an added bonus!

I have sensed this weird obsession of mine, where I keep buying stuff for him. Not extravagant stuff, mind, but the lockdown has made me aware of how much I depend on my ability to buy things!

Seriously, we as a society have become so fixated on consuming, which is why some of us struggle with feelings of dejection during the lockdown.

Not my LO though. He recognizes me and prefers me now, so all he needs for his joy is a happy, relaxed me. He wants food, he wants his nappy clean and his bed warm. He wants to play and see and explore. He wants to be able to gnaw at his great toe with his gums and he wants to sleep. A baby is a precious little thing – so close to nature and so full of love and joy.

Which is why it scares me that he can sense my negativity, my bad vibes. Because he is learning. And I’m not sure if I’m teaching him right.

I strongly believe children learn more from who we are than what we preach. They are clever that way, but to ensure they become their best selves, we are going to have to make changes in how we feel, think, say and do things.

So now, when I can’t buy anything for him, instead of wallowing in gloom, I make my own toys – which are sometimes shabby and uninteresting, but hey… The baby doesn’t care if it’s a car or a cardboard box! He likes it all the same, because they are from me!

This has introduced me into the world of DIY toys, sensory bags and whatnot, but more on that later! For now, let’s just hope